Yes,WE can!!

Despondency has hit the streets as angry citizens are flooding the roads with placards, top notch celebrities are expressing disbelief, terror and solidarity, heads of state chiefs and bureaucrats are rolling and there seems to be an unprecedented feeling of animosity towards our system. 26/11 is unequivocally our enemy's most successful accomplishment, and by far our biggest intelligence failure. Secularism and our sovereignty balances itself on a perilous fringe that has hitherto indeed stood the test of time. Look at the facts. We live in a land that has never attacked, never plundered. We live in a land that perhaps can singularly pride upon its non-violent past. We live in a land where we refused to kill to win our freedom. We live in a land that has a woman president, a Muslim Vice President , a Sikh Prime Minister, at the hands of an Italian born national and a fundamentalist Hindu opposition. We practice every religion known to mankind, speak languages the numbers we've lost track of, boast of every ethnicity that has ever existed. We're incredibly warm hearted, duly progressive and aspiring in consciousness. We've been extremely tolerant, immensely patient and yet pleasantly cynical. Our resilient middle class is endearing and persevering,and yet imbibes unmistakable resentment. We have successfully managed to build a multi-ethnic vibrant functional democracy in all glory. Where is it that then that we've faltered? What is it that still makes 15 percent of our population to live on less than a dollar a day? What questions nag us that make us a country with only the have lots and the have nots? We've been left grumbling about our unscrupulous politicians whom we've fallen prey to. We've succumbed to a whirlwind of cheap divisive politics. We find ourselves in the midst of a cynically adamant, morbidly corrupt and bankrupt Pakistan, a disturbed Afghanistan, a treacherous Bangladesh, an emerging strong Communist China and an insignificant Sri Lanka. Our middle class is as impervious to politics as much as our poor class is gullible to. We have complained far too long. We have never had the conscience not to spit on roads, not to throw garbage mindlessly, and not to resort to bribes. We've resorted to our comfortable cushioned sofas in our luxurious living rooms and our elephantine lazy butts do not want to go out there and fight for a good cause. We may cease to be a third world country soon, but our mentality still seems third world. We want change to happen,never want to make it happen. We wait for an Obama to sweep us away with his rapturous speeches and rejuvenate our maligned political and bureaucratic framework . Change , we've certainly believed in, but,pain, we've always lived in. We've never guarded our vote with the sanctity it deserves. We live in a land where me and you can stand for an election based upon a common ideology, yet we've never. On the other hand,ours is still a system which will never let Tianmann massacre to happen, we'll never compromise on the lives of innocent citizens trapped in hijacked planes,unlike Israel. We've long complained to make stringent laws on population control emulating China, but we'd be the first people to protest against it on humanitarian grounds. In the past few years,we have developed in confidence as a nation, we are no longer meek and submissive, no longer subservient. The country,let alone the world itself, cannot afford to have an ineffectual Indian middle class. We are engulfed in boundless opportunities and possibilities, yet we face a myriad of problems to deal with.Perhaps,terrorism is just one amongst a long list. Perhaps the whole issue of terrorism is a little hyped. Thousands die due to disease and hunger in our country every day, lakhs still live in hunger and acute poverty. Perhaps, terrorism comes under the several miscellaneous problems we face. Perhaps, the poor in Bihar did not care about the recent terrorist attacks, perhaps the deprived in UP are more concerned of managing 2 square meals a day. Perhaps, education is our standout priority. Nonetheless, 26/11 has been a symbolic attack on our sovereignty exposing our vulnerability,our insecurities. Perhaps, in bleak times we sense an uncanny spirit awakening, a need for monopoly of virtue. Perhaps, this is our pre-ordained calling to politics of principles and virtue, of responsibility and a sense of patriotic fervour. Our tradition teaches tolerance, our philosophy teaches tolerance, our Constitution practices tolerance, let us not dilute it Let this emotion not fade away like the beautiful sunset in Kashmir.Let us demand questions until we ourselves realize we all along knew the answers, let us assume the mantle upon the value system bequeath by our founding fathers.

The hypocrisy we believe

There’s perpetual talk of how banal the bollywood outfit really is and how oblivious of reality and fantasy prone it is. One self proclaimed king of bollywood, shahrukh khan has inevitably never escaped this callous criticism. I, for one, have never been an unabashed fan oh his exuberance or his presumptuous self. And I actually don’t find myself a loner in this thought. You’ll always come across people who claim to find Khan’s antiques ludicrous and his sense of cinema bunkum and inane. A person of this nature will also pride upon voicing this perception ardently. It is a different matter that he invariably never misses any of his movies nor his interviews or his over the top shows. Again, it is a different issue that he in turn seems to be his greatest critic. As most of us although, he too enjoys the ostentatious glamour and glitter, which by all means is snobbish in his cinema. The women are unbelievably pretty, the locations and backdrops out of this world and the costumes seemingly straight out of Armani’s personal closet. The plot, though, is a little obvious and superficial and the emotion bluntly honest and in your face. This person thus will come out of the cinema hall grumbling and complaining how awful the plot was, how ‘insipid’ the acting performances were and how in your face the glamour was. The truth is he enjoys it; he never fails to catch in on the promos of his upcoming films and always keeps a keen eye on his releases. No wonder in one of his interviews Khan nonchalantly exclaimed “People who say aren’t my fans are plainly lying”. No one could have put it any better. His honesty is appealing. His high spirited confident soul brings in a rare energy. His flamboyance is hard to miss and yet his sophistication shows. It also helps that he’s well educated, well read and also very well informed. Thus, it's never that Khan plays the character on screen but represents various other characteristics, which appeal to larger masses. We’ll always have the Naseeruddin Shahs and the Aamir Khans and the Rahul Boses whose screen presence always mirrors the character, who have exceptional acting capabilities. .Shahrukh Khan himself, though, may not be playing the character in the movie flawlessly, he may not seem to “Get into the character” and he may always seem to be Shahrukh Khan playing Raj, Shahrukh Khan playing Rahul, but it appeals and millions adore him for that. Just for the sheer exuberance and the energy he portrays and the sophistication he manages to bring along with it, like me, it has been a treat for millions to watch him.

Midnight's children

Bread earned from the sweat of strife and the persistence of a transfixed rapt goal is by far the most satisfying form of reward. It sounds a little less extravagant if your transfixed rapt goal is to survive in a demeaning mob of filthy gluttonous creatures(read NiTkians) and the glorified sweat of strife is from a person( magnanimously referred to as SwAmI. I’ve deleted the hyperlink to SwAmI, coz he needs his privacy) who is indeed serving you the bread (read vadapav, half fry, Singapore fried rice etc). People familiar with this obscurely painted picture (in turn read filthy gluttonous creatures) can take solace in the fact that they’re now equipped to handle the greatest of obstacles, the most insurmountable of physical challenges and simply the art of ordering food in a night canteen at peak hour 00:00:00, when all reasonable clocks reset, but the werewolf within a hungry NiTkian come to life. It’s an enterprise in which the mob has shamed the prehistoric barbarics and the SwAmi has challenged the nuances of the famed six sigma.Yup.The famed Night Canteen.

The constant flurry of ‘swami swami’ notwithstanding, SwAmI nonchalantly delivers fried rice after half rice after vadapavs. (For those wondering who/what SwAmI(S, A, I are capitals) is, it’s an NiTk innovative way of addressing of, quite literally, any person in the world). At SwAmI’s helm is another slight grizzly haired sWaMi (notice W, M are capitals here, for brevity and clarity of anticipative mistaken SWAMI identity), whose exploits of preparing Chinese (read INDIAN) dishes is legendary(read not so legendary). As if to complete the package, a sordid Kannada song complete with morbidly obese heroines plays on the screen. In all this frenzy does the process of satiating one’s hunger is successfully achieved.The average NiTkian thus is fed.

Now, is it me or does the food there ironically taste good?

AND NOT SO MANY MILES TO GO BEFORE I SLEEP

Aec test cancelled..ahh.. This is d life I ordered.. I heard a few comrades lament and let out moans.. As m about to reiterate to the person to my right how insipidly psychotic people can get, I smell smoke..(Buzzzzz) I wake up from my slumber..Damn. It was a dream.. It’s not an alarm clock that brings me back to reality..Alarm clocks amplified with a million mosfets don’t trouble my sub conscience.. Nicotine fresh from my roommate’s throat never disappoints. My roommate is staring into the window with eternal gratification(cig) in his hand.. Of course it’s burning out(rapidly).. I compel him to give a couple of drags.. He’s not amused..He bemoans n takes it away.. I scramble across to the mess n gulp in what looks like chapathi.. I discover later tat I was wrong.. The early-sunshine- tobacco hits my head as it hits me ’m late for class.. 3.5 min later(‘m quick) m standing outside the class with the prof 5 min into the class.. I find an accomplice who shares my grievance.. We make schemes to execute a blitz krieg through the back door.. Our plans are foiled as reality hits us.. We quietly walk though the front door trying to look as subservient as we can(the arrogance showed though)with the glare of the sullen prof transfixed upon us.. He promises us to give no attendance(a promise no one has yet reneged)..I give my accomplice a discourse on how cynical n psychotic ec really is.. He agrees..I get a sense of gratification.. We start scheming yet again to launch a blitz krieg this time to get outta the class room.. Reality hits us, as the Prof gives a squeal “MOSFET” n I cover my face n let my subconscious mind fantasize of a world where internal quizzes get cancelled.. EMW207 surprise test.. Ahh.. The dream.. DAMN..Murphy’s laws ..Occur at the worst possible time at the worst possible place(I smirk thinking of the irony).. shud ‘ve known better.. I curse Murphy, the prof n myself for varied n distinct reasons.. I cover my face once again as the paper is put before me, with disgust and absolutely no remorse.. Needless to say exam goes terribly wrong.. I go back to gleefully discover that sachin’s broken the world record thus ensuring that the day will be etched in history as the next big thing to happen in Indian history(first been his debut of course).. I spend the day watching press conferences and jobless people heaping praise upon him.. Aaj tak reports that he had the dal sachin had for lunch had too much salt and that the president of Venezuela seemed not to care about tendulkar’s record thus implying that afro-asian relations are strained.. I have dinner double confirming that its chapathi ‘m eating.. ‘m reassured.. In the meanwhile the tobacco I consume keeps getting diluted with my blood with the usual inane conversations that accompany it.. I promise myself and a few others that ‘l give up smoking.. People no more seem to bother.. Vexed I rally around the corridors looking for fags.. Having failed to do so I come back bury my head under the pillow, lose all hope in life and lose myself in deep sleep..

THE PURSUIT OF FAGS (HAPPYNESS)

At the risk of sounding ludicrous, it’s gloriously fascinating how a man’s pursuit of his wants mediocres the want itself. The need to accomplish his ordinarily insipid aspirations is seemingly both gratifying and wholesome. One distinguished yet rather despicable class of men who affiliate and conform to this emotion would have to be The Cigarette Smokers.

The line of thought in a man’s distraught mind in the metamorphosis of an amateur smoker to an addict holds tremendous juvenile interest. A smoker who starts out on his advent, irrelevant of his reasons (/xcuses) wants to be eventually ADDICTED. Any hint of addiction initially sees light in him getting addicted simply to the thought of wanting to fag. He finds good company, forms a “respectable” social circle and thus begins the transit. The conversations during smoking among the amateurs revolve around the fag itself. The finances of the whole idea seem less then overwhelming. He finds the idea of sourcing out fags very exhilarating and delirious. He then transcends to the next phase. Here monetary state of affairs dominates circumstances. He scavenges and scouts for loose money, gets frenzy if his temptations are not satisfied. The conversations during smoking now seem to evolve around arbitary issues ranging from Fidel Castro’s downfall, to Indian Cricket’s domineering global presence. This phase is immeasurably delightful. His companionship base is strengthened, he unconsciously starts framing faging etiquettes with his comrades and thus the whole smoking business leaves an indelible inannulable impression. He proceeds to the next phase where smoking ceases to be an addiction rather a way of life. Smoking becomes as integral part of him as breathing itself. The financial setup stabilises, forms lasting friendships and the previously inane conversations are now non-existent. His routine of when to and with whom to fag sets in. He innately now has a very important figure to remember on a daily basis-the fag count. We now behold an ADDICT-whose IQ levels seem to fluctuate with his fag count. The inanity of the situation seems mesmerising. The transformation into the dreaded last phase, which always occupied his subconscious mind, now awaits him, where consequences or Karma of his past sins of the diabolical addiction hit him square in the face. Eventually the addiction drives him to his deathbed, and yet unperturbed his addiction remains uncurbed. Consequently and predictably he dies an arrogant, egoistic addicted, grotesque rascal, who all along knew that the means was definitely better than the ends. The pursuit of fags is officially over.

seen it,been there,done it all..

D intricacies of life neva cease to astound u..Its magnificent how a stumble is always followed by a distant silver lining... A pot of gold at d end of d dark ,mysterious tunnel seems probable... Oblivious to d uninspiring tunnel u perspire and traverse to d other end... U discover tat d gold promised is a mere hallucination.. Disappointment is followed by a lack of self belief causing a string of failures.. A silver lining again comes to u and u find urself in d mysterious tunnel again.. D mighty rise to d occassion again, d prudents fail... Neva let hope and faith perish coz when gold does really exist u may fail to recognize it...

What's going on?

He loathe going to the those fancy restaurants with another guy. 2 guys dining at a Chinese outlet seemed a little immasculating, to Robin. To Robin, 2 guys meeting anywhere was homosexual.

Robin:Hey. I hear this place is terrific. They even teach you how to use the chop sticks. I 'm no good with the sticks.I hate the sticks. But i want to use the syicks. Coz i hate it so much.

Gary:Me too.I hate the sticks.But you know what else is different about this place? Its got waitresses. Have you ever seen a Chinese place with waitresses? Its odd is'nt it?They always have only guys working at these places.

Robin: Ya.That's a little weird.

The waiter comes and cleans up and places a candle on the table.

Robin:Hey hey. What do you think you're doing. What's with the candles? We're not..... You know.

Waiter:Of course sir. I'm sorry. I'l get them out right away.

Robin:Can you beleive that guy? I've been here a million times and the waiter still thinks 'm gay.
Gary grins. Robin frowns.

Gary:Which reminds me. Any luck with Genie? Have you gone past the "How are you"s to her yet?

Robin:No no. But once,I almost got to the "What did you do today?" part.

Gary:And?

Robin:It was 8 in the morning.
Y bursts into an uproar. He stops laughing when the waiter comes to the table.

Gary:A leefo rice for me and an Koithai for the pretty man here.
Waiter smiles.Robin frowns.
Half a minute after he orders he looks at the table beside him.
Gary: Damn. I should have taken a Chopseuy.

Robin:So anyway tomorrow's her birthday. I'm kinda in a fix.

Gary: Why did'nt I take the Chopseuy?

Robin: You can fret about your food later. Bigger things are at stake here.

Gary:What's the problem?

Robin:Tomorrow's her birthday. What do I do?

Robin:I dunno whether I should wish her. I mean, I barely know her. I dont think she even expects me to know that tomorrow's her birthday.i don't wanna come off as too desperate?But bare in mind I AM desperate.

Gary:No. No. You should wish her. You like her right? Then you should wish her.

The waiter gets the noodle. He does'nt bring any chopsticks.Both are secretly releived.

Robin:In person?I wont be running into her anywhere.I cant pop in at her house?

Gary:No pop-in. Of course not.No pop in at her house.Everyone hates a pop-in.
You can run into her at the supermarket or somewhere?Can you make a neat stake-out?

Robin:Which 21 year old goes to the supermarket on her birthday?Don't be ridiculous.Besides,I don't think i can pull-off this stake-out. I think i should call her.

Robin:In any case 'm no good talking face to face. I stink. I'm very good on the phone. I won't have to worry about what to wear and stuff.

Gary:Give it a shot anyway. Go to the supermarket. See if she's there. I'm pretty sure you are going to go.

Robin:K. I'l go. But I always stifle when I meet her in person.

Gary:Ya. You're no good in person. Besides, you can't refer to your notes that you make for what to talk on the phone.

Robin: Very funny. Anyway. I have her number, but she did'nt give it to me. I got it out of the college yearbook. She's gonna ask how I got her number, I can't tell her the truth.

Gary:She's not gonna ask. Divert her atention before she says anything else. Start talking about grades of people in your class. Girls love to bitch about others grades.

Robin:No. Then we'l end up speaking about my grades. I would.nt want that that.I'l make something up and ask. Not the grades though.

Gary: This rice is no good. I knew I should have got the chopseuy.

Robin:I thought we moved on from that.

Gary:Give a little of that noodles you got.

Robin:Ok ok. Anyway, what time do I call her?I think the timing of the call is very important.

Gary:It sure is. How about at midnight. Be the first one to wish her.

Robin:No. I barely know her. Midnight calls are for the boyfriends. People tend to remember midnight calls.I don't wanna be remembered.I hate to be remembered. Who wants to be remembered?

Gary:I like to be remembered. But,how about 8 in the morning?That's a pleasant time.

Robin:Ya. But morning's a forgetful time. No one remembers the things you do when you get up.Its like when you are drunk.

Gary:I thought you said you did'nt wanna be remembered?

Robin:Ya. But i did'nt wanna be forgotten. There's a lotta difference between being
forgotten, and not being remembered.

Gary frowns.
Gary:I certainly don't mind forgetting the last 15 minutes of my life.

Gary:So, anyway. How does 11 in the morning sound?

Robin:No good. Tomorrow's a Saturday. And 11 is easily the busiest time on a Saturday.

Gary:What about 2?

Robin:Na. The time between 12 to 3 is out of the window.She may be having lunch aound them. I don't wanna be calling her when she's having lunch, do I? Lunch conversations are very short-lived.I don't care for them.

Gary: That's moronic. You do know you can't call her too late.

Robin:Why not?

Gary:I heard from Dona that she's inviting people over for dinner. If you call too late you may not get an invite.Even if you do get one, you can't go, cause then you'll come off as very desperate, which you are. Any dinner invitation needs a 2 hour buffer. No self respecting individual would go for a party with less than 2 hours notice.

Gary:Of course, the self respecting part may mean it leaves you in the clear.

Robin:That's hilarious. You done with the jokes?

Robin:Anyway, it means that I got between 3 and 5.So i'm thinking 3 should suit me well.

Gary:No can't do. Bold and the Beautiful comes on TV at 3. I hear girls love that show. Its a stupid show you know.

Robin:You watch it?

Gary:Of course not. You?

Robin:Of course not.

Awkward silence. Both of them watch the show.

Robin:Ok then. 4 it will be then.

Gary:I still think you should be calling her at midnight. It gives a good sign to her.

Robin:No . I'm still not ready for that kinda commitment, I think.If I'd known her for like 3 more weeks, I would have been qualified to be making the midnight call.

Gary:Alright. I'l try the midnight call then. We'l see what she says.

Robin:Beleive me. You'l get clobbered.



The following evening, at around 6, Donna gives a call to Genie.
Donna:Hey. Happy birthday once again. 7.30 right?

Genie:Ya. Come over to my place. We'll go together.

Genie:Anyway. The funniest of things happened. You know Gary right. He called me at midnight. That was so sweet of him. So i invited him for the party. It was so nice of him to remember, dont you think?

Donna:Oh ya. Did Robin call? I'd slipped in a word to him that it was your b'day?

Genie:You know what? I ran into him at the supermarket. He saw me but pretended not to have seen me. That jerk. He kinda had a stifled look on his face.What a moron. He called me up at 4 or something. Maybe to apologize. I did'nt lift. The hell with him.